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Handling Rejection (Part 1): Is Rejection Good or Bad?

One of the bitter truths of life is that we will not always be accepted where we long to be, not everybody will love us and some of us will fail where others made waves. All these constitute to rejection.

So, for the young man who got a negative response from the woman he proposed to or the young lady who has eyes on an amazing young man who is not looking her way or the youth who failed to gain admission. Even the teenager whose WAEC result was terrible or the university undergraduate with a carry-over and the qualified fellow who failed to be promoted…. the pain is the same, and the underlying message in all these rejection situations is; “you’re not good enough

Beyond the motivational stories of the great men we admire, stories like that of Walt Disney who was sacked from a newspaper company for ‘lack of ideas’, but who turned out to build some of the most creative inventions - cartoons and the Disney company, or that of Thomas Edison who was rejected from school as his teacher declared him; “mentally deficient and unfit to learn”, but later went on to invent the incandescent light bulb. I bet we’ve been in situations in the past where our abilities were doubted but we still went on to do greatly. Well, I have been.

Before I address the underlying message of rejection, which is “you’re not good enough, I’d like to remind you, that people see us based on their level of understanding, not based on the truth. Because human sight is limited, it might be true that the young man that got a “no” from a lady, may not have been ‘good enough’ for her, and I don’t mean that in a negative sense.


Let’s make a comparison between the fish and the Eagle: the fish cannot survive in the air and neither can the Eagle survive in water, they were made to thrive in their specific environments. The Eagle’s struggle for breath when it is thrust in water, means it’s not ‘good enough’ to survive in water, but that doesn’t make it inferior to the fish. In the same way, it doesn’t mean the man the lady in our illustration finally marries is better than the one she rejected. Firstly, she’s human, and her judgment of the man’s worthiness might be faulty, or she might just be outright not compatible with him. So it is, with all forms of rejection.

When situations try to belittle your worth, I’ll like you to ask “according to who’s judgement I’m I named unqualified?”. Don’t let what another human - whether your boss, parents or peers - think of you define you. We live in a fallen world and nothing is fair, so even when you’re deserving of things, you might not have them.

So is rejection good or bad?

There is no direct answer to this, though the answer is Simple, rejection is good and rejection is bad. Rejection is good if it is orchestrated by God and bad if it is authored by the enemy of our souls - the devil.

Good rejection, since it’s according to God’s Will for us always seeks to save us from danger we might not foresee. Like a toddler who wimps, cries and rolls on the floor, asking her mum to give her fried eggs, but her mum breaks the egg, and takes her time to convert it to the fried state, sometimes we cry and beg for somethings to happen but God in His Wisdom, keeps us for the best.

Bad rejection on the other hand, seeks to harm us, to hurt us, to delay God’s purposes in our lives. Like the couple who keeps trying to get a baby and it ends in miscarriage, or the jobless young man with a family to take care of.

When it comes to relationships, promotions and academics, it’s not easy to out rightly say which rejection was God’s or the devil’s plan. It takes a relationship with God through His Word to distinguish both. We are told that the Word of the Lord is the litmus test that divides thoughts and intents (Hebrews 3:12).

Now, whether a particular rejection is God’s Will or the Devil’s, for those who are children of God by accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and savior, all things work together for our good - the good, the bad, the ugly, God turns it for our good.

The truth remains: rejection hurts, whether good rejection or bad rejection. So how do we grow above the hurt, heal completely and make the best out of Rejection?

Find out in the second part of this article. Meanwhile feel free to drop your questions and contribution in the comment section. I’m grateful you read this to the end. I love You.

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