Everyone was born with an innate desire or hunger to be loved, accepted, affirmed, approved. This is why we do all we can to get people to love and accept us, but most of the time we forget the fact that not everyone will like us.
So many in the world are unloved, uncared for, forgotten, neglected for several reasons. It could be for their deformity or poor health status. It could also be for their low pedigree (low social status, low financial status, and weak academic background, etc). It could also be for their skin color or their accent.
A few days ago I sat down with a young child whom we had paid his fees during the February Edition of The 2017 SunRise School Tour. In December we had sent a gift to his family (50 cups of rice, a live chicken, and oil). We did the delivery ourselves but incidentally we got no response from his parents.
Even after we paid his fees in February, we still got no response from them. So I decided to have talk with this boy to know what the problem was.
"How is your mom and your step dad?" I asked.
"They are fine," he replied.
"Was your mom excited when you told her we paid your fees?" I asked again.
"Sir, she did not say anything." he replied.
Now I am in shock thinking we had offended someone, but come to think of it, I don't think we did offend them. We did them a favor. The boy lost one year in school because they did not pay his fees. I couldn't understand why his other siblings had their fees paid except him.
I asked him, "How is your relationship with your mother?"
He said, "She doesn't talk to me."
Now I am in double shock. How would a mother live in the same house with her 14-year-old and choose not to talk to him?
So I asked again, "Why doesn't she talk to you?"
His response: "Sir, I don't know. My step dad ignores me too."
Then I asked again, "But she talks to your other siblings?"
He said, "Yes, she treats them better. Maybe it's because she had me when she was a young girl and my biological dad left her. Maybe I remind her of him, and she is transferring her aggression towards him to me."
I did not say a word again. I couldn't.
This boy wears old clothes and looks very malnourished. He looks 10 when he is actually 14. But he is super intelligent. Speaks good English and has excellent grades in school. Only God knows the emotional grieve this child suffered because of his parents' rejection.
People do not understand the terrible effect rejection has on individuals. The feeling makes its entrance with subtlety, but its underground work, devastating!!!
You could confirm this from the girl who just got dumped by a man she had dated for 6 years just because he has found a 'better girl'. You could ask the boy who is always talked down upon by his teachers because they felt his brain was made of popcorn. You could find out from the man who was relieved of his job by a company he spent years labouring for, because they believe they've found a more 'competent' guy.
It has a subliminal effect on its victim which could last years, or even a lifetime, creating ripples of hate, bitterness, unforgiveness, low-self esteem, depression and suicide. Even supermodels despite their terrific looks, fortune, and fame, have been victims.
We must understand that we cannot escape rejection. People don't just hate for no reasons. They hate because of your looks, or your values, or because they are demoniacs. What do you do when people express their disgust towards you? Do you cry? Or do you shake it of?
Your self-esteem can be dented if you base your importance on:
1) Your good looks
2) Your intelligence, wittiness, cleverness (call it whatever you may)
3)Your top financial status
4)Your connections and fame
Definitely you will always find someone who is better looking, more intelligent, wealthier, and more successful.
Several years ago, the Lord taught me never to base my importance on anything I have or will ever have, but I must base my importance on my blessed relationship with Jesus Christ.
That, I can't lose for anything. His love for me is so refreshingly original. God is not fake. People can be fake. In fact some people are like actors most of the time when they are with you. Their real intent is usually hidden until something boils it up, but God is so real. Loving God is my life's greatest romance, and I feel so important with Him. Why should I feel less important when Jesus has said to me, "You are the LIGHT OF THE WORLD...you are the SALT OF THE EARTH." That means I've got relevance. So when someone looks at me and says "I don't like you at all." I boldly look at the person and say, "Hello, does it make any difference? Sorry, that doesn't count."
Or if they say, "I just hate you." I'll stand tall and say, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry for you because it doesn't mean anything to me." Nobody should make you feel small. I know where I have placed my importance. I am no longer self conscious, I am GOD CONSCIOUS. I don't just have self-esteem, I have GOD ESTEEM. And it is such a wonderful feeling. Nothing like it in the whole world, nothing!
I hope you enjoyed this.
God bless you, I love you for reading.